Confessions of a Convert: In the Beginning

I've been wanting to write about my choice to convert to Judaism for a while now but I wasn't sure where to start.  I have decided that from the beginning is probably a good start.  With this first entry about converting I am quite sure that this will probably become a frequent feature (if you can call it that) on my blog since it's kind of a big deal. 

 I haven't felt the need to keep converting a secret,  I've really enjoyed talking about it over with my friends and family, so why not share my thoughts with the great sphere of blogs?  Especially since there might be someone out there who might be on a similar path as to mine.

First off I am not converting because of relationship, which is the reason I think most people assume is the reas why someone would convert to Judaism.  So far with in the small on the path of conversion community I've met in my city none of them list that as a reason as to why they're converting.  We all feel the same feeling:  that we've always been Jewish in one way or another, that we were made to be Jewish.

Spirituality (I really don't like the word 'religion' so I always opt to spirituality) is such complex facet of our lives.  It involves our souls, minds, hearts, and bodies.  I also feel it's either something you have or you don't, that you can't force or fake it.  I also think it's cruel to yourself and others to do so just to find acceptance and love.  People connect to different kinds of spiritual path (or not) and I don't think there is one true path to God, who I like to call HaShem, but rather different paths for different kinds of people.  I just happen to connect to the path of Judaism instead of Christianity, Buddhism, Sikhism, or the other dozens upon dozens upon dozens paths I could've possibly be made for. I believe in love for all followers of all paths, and also for people who cannot connect with spirituality.  I have tons of friends who are atheists and agnostics and they're some of the most kind, happy, and best friends I have ever had.  Guess what?  They're also so incredibly supportive.  

I've said that I was made to be Jewish, that I've always felt a desire to be Jewish, but how is that possible?  Since spirituality is so complex  I have a hard time articulating this but maybe you'll get the gist through my slightly incoherentness, so, bear with me.  I hope it'll clarify some things.

I have always been really interested in Judaism ever since I was little.  The first aspect of Judaism that really intrigued was Jewish history.  I have always been really drawn to reading and learning about the Shoah (the Holocaust) ever since I was really young, too young.  I started developing and interest in Jewish holidays, and was always wondering why I wasn't celebrating Hanukkah and Passover.  In my teens and early twenties I felt a connection to Paganism and Earth based spirituality, but it faded by my mid-twenties.  I met some amazing people through it, and I think it's a beautiful and respectable spiritual path.  I just stop connecting with it after while, even if I was working at it.  Even when I was on that path I was still drawn to Judaism.

Now that I am the path to becoming a Jew I have never felt so at home and at peace with myself, my life.  It's such and intense sense of peace with in my soul.  I cannot wait to share the rest of my journey with you.

Sunday Sayings

 Bailey over at her great blog (which I recently discovered), Lost and Found

has started a great link-up with Sunday Sayings.

According to Bailey Sunday Sayings are things you find on the internet that "Makes you happy. Makes you cry. Or makes you laugh"  I really love this idea and have decided to join her in this!

So here is my first Sunday Saying:

Via this Tumblr

I am a huge Harry Potter fan.  I have been since I was 13.  I remember a librarian came from my town's public library to talk to my 8th grade English class about the awesomeness that is summer reading.  Since I was (and still am) a huge book work I hung onto her every word and felt that I was the only person in the class who cared.  She started to talk about this book.  This book they only has two copies from Canada that another librarian brought in circulation because it wasn't out yet in the US.  

And it was Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.

The librarian giving the talk had a sign up sheet to get on the waiting list for the book, and I was the first (and possibly only person) to get on it from my class.  I waited for months to get my chance to read it.

Harry Potter came at a very lonely point in my life.  I didn't have a lot of friends and I was bullied a lot. So it was an escape for me and Harry, Ron, and Hermione became the friends that I really didn't have over the summer.  I cannot thank J.K. Rowling enough for having the inspiration to write these novels.

To this day Harry, Ron, and Hermione are some of the best friends I have ever had.  

And I cannot wait to introduce them to my future children.

So.

Thank you, Harry.

Chris' Epic Birthday Week

October 25th was Chris' 26th birthday.  Because I love birthdays I made it a big deal.  

Many a pictures ahead!

We started the birthday week off with a surprise visit from his best friend, Andy.  They've been friends since middle school, in Hawaii.  After graduating from college in California Andy moved up to PDX 

we only live an hour and a half away so he tries to come and visit often.  Chris was super surprised when Andy went into his work on campus to surprise him.  That evening we went to dinner at Hop Valley Brewery. Our friend Melissa joined us.

Soon Melissa, soon.

We are very guilty of taking pictures like this all the time.

We ordered their sampler of beers,  I took more pictures of these tiny glasses than anything else. The Hefeweizen
(the one with the lemon) was my favorite.  But Hefeweizens tend to be my favorite beers.

I think this picture speaks volumes about us.

I had been to Hop Valley before and really enjoyed it, their happy hour is killer, but I was a little let down for this visit.  Everything we ordered that was fried (onion rings, fish and chips, fries) just sorta all tasted the same from the deep frier.  But they have these smoke mozzarella sticks that are a-may-zing.

The biggest part of Chris' birthday he didn't even know about.  I decided around August that I wanted to throw him a surprise party, with a theme.  I settled on Mighty Morphin Power Rangers because he loved them when he was little and...Why not?  So I asked guests to wear the color of their favorite Ranger, some people wore the same color head to toe or just a shirt.  But it was so much fun!  Chris had no idea, because going over to our friend Mychal's house for 'pizza, video games, and beer' is pretty normal.

Nathan blew up ALL the ballons.

Elisa got conned into hanging up everything because she's tall.  Story of her life.

Ballons everywhere!  A Power Rangers streaming on NetFlix.  What more could an almost 26 year old guy ask for?

Nell, in the orange, is from New Zealand.  They didn't have Power Rangers there so wasn't sure what color to wear.   There is no Orange Ranger.  We let her stay though.

I went as the Red Ranger due to the fact that I couldn't find a ridiculous pink party dress at Ross.

Glow stick dance time!

We played dubstep, pop music mashups, and LMFAO all night.  So loudly a very nice police officer came to the house told us to turn it down.

Chris' vanilla cake with Nutella cream cheese frosting, adorned with  the Power Ranger mecha, from a Happy Meal I bought for Chris back in September.  I baked it the night before at my friend Devin's apartment.  HRD came to the party too.

Most awesome picture form the evening.  Elisa disapproving of whatever Nathan is doing.

I didn't take any pictures of the surprise itself, but I did do a video, or rather Nell did.  It's really funny, to Chris and I at least.  The best part?  After singing him a very surprising happy birthday Mychal said "Gotcha!" Then you can hear Elisa, yell off camera, "Get this man a drink!"  And we did.  All in all it was great party and a huge surprise for Chris.  Much merryment was had and made for all who attend.  The was also sprinkles of roomie drama and the token friend with the token crappy partner everyone hates.  Other than that it was a proper college party with red cups, beer pong, shots, and at least one person who drank too much.  Chris had a great time, and that's what matters.

The morning, or rather the afternoon, after the party we got an epic breakfast at The Glenwood, a Eugene restaurant legend.

October 25th was the real day!  Chris wanted to do something simple so we went to Toshi's Ramen and got dinner, and just enjoyed each other's company.  We rarely get to spend time-time together, although we live together, sometimes we just get busy and sorta forget about us.

Chris, get off your damn phone.

He hates it when I take his picture so he's playing nice here.

Toshi's gyoza are filled with hot, steamy love.  A must order.

Two bowls of ramen, one order of fried rice, and matcha green tea for me.

Totally decimated in about 15 minutes.  We were hungry and eat fast.

He seemed to enjoy every minute of his epic birthday week, but he isn't used to this much attention, so I hope it doesn't go to his head.  

It Seems Fitting

Oh, the lack there of.



I write ideas for blog entries, accept for the photo heavy ones  in a journal I keep in my purse at all times.  Ironically, that page is still very much so blank.

Chris' birthday week just wrapped up so here are some major highlights:

-His best friend Andy came down for a quick visit from PDX last Wednesday.
-I managed to pull off a rocking surprise party for Chris on Saturday, that sorta devolved into an
episode of the Jersey Shore.   I couldn't have done it without my accomplices
Elisa, Mychal, Nathan, and Nell.
-For Chris' birthday evening I was reduced to tears because sometimes we suck at communicating
our expectations to each other.  After we talked and I calmed the eff down he opened his gifts
a scale for our kitchen, pinch bowls and The Batman then we went to dinner at Toshi's.
After dinner we went to SafeWay so he could buy Zicam, and then home for him
to play Batman and me to catch up on all the amazing TV I missed on Monday.
(Read:  The Hoarders season premiere!)

I'll post pictures from the party, what few I have, since it is unwise to handle a camera while you've been enjoying yourself.

Other than that just trying to get the house cleaned up and organized, then getting ready for
Halloween!

I hope your week has been going well so far!

Why I Wore Purple On October 20th: A Letter to my Future Children

Wearing purple to support the LGBT community.

Dear Future Children,

I may not know you yet, and there is always the chance I may never be able to meet you. To raise you, to love you, to have you in my life.  However, these are my promises to you:

I promise to never to inflict strict gender roles on you at such a young age.  If you're a boy and you want to run around in a pink princess dress and play with dolls I will encourage you to express yourself.  If you're a girl and you want to play in the dirt and wear mismatched camo I will encourage you to express yourself.  If you're a boy who wants to act like a 'boy' or a girl who wants to act like a 'girl' I will happily encourage you. Regardless of your gender I will let you express yourself the way you feel you should express yourself.  I will let you grow and be nurtured in a home where gender is fluid, not concrete.

If you start telling me that you don't feel like fit into your body.  That it doesn't match the way you feel inside. That your physical gender doesn't match your inner gender. I will do my best to make sure that one day you will be comfortable and love who you are.  If that requires therapy to help with transition, hormones to help your body, or surgery to make sure everything matches the way you feel inside, or legal proceedings to change your name.  Whatever it may be I will do everything to help you transition into a body that matches how you feel you are, inside.  And when it's all done we will have a birthday party, on the date of your choice, to celebrate the beautiful and amazing person you've always been. And we will, as a family and community, celebrate this birthday (along with your physical birthday whenever that may be), every year.

If you're a boy who finds himself more attracted to the prince, or a girl who finds herself wanting a princess of her very own I will not do anything about it.  Because there is nothing wrong with you.  As you grow up and your start feeling these attractions grow stronger and stronger I will not do anything about it.  Because still there is nothing wrong with you.  If you're a teenager and you're fully aware that you're gay and come out I will do something about it.  I will throw you a huge coming out party.  Complete with cake, streamers, balloons, friends and family. Because, obviously, there is still nothing wrong with you.  We will be celebrating your coming out with love, because I am tired of sad coming out stories.  And if your school tells you can't bring your boyfriend or girlfriend as your date to prom you'll know that I'll have your back and stand up for your rights.  And if you're being bullied I will do everything in my power to put those bullies in their place. And if your school does nothing about bullying I will take you out and find you a new school with a community that will love and accept you for who you are, not who you kiss.

If you have a friend who is LGBT and is disowned by their family because of it.  Kicked out of their home and deserted.  I promise to take them in and love them as my own child.  I promise to take care of them.  I promise to make sure they get the help and support they need.  I promise to stand up to their family and show them what unconditional love is really all about.

I promise to always stand up for you.  Whether it be at Thanksgiving dinner, or in the PTA, or school board, or the local, state, or national government arenas.  I promise to stand up for your rights, for your safety.  You will always come first.

If anybody threatens your safety in anyway, God help them they better get over their homophobia or transphobia before I go all Mama Bear on them.

I promise to raise you in a spiritual community where you're taught that God made you the way you are.  That you're not a mistake, or making a choice.  If it turns out that love isn't their strong suit we will find another community.  And if you grow up and decide that God isn't good for you, that you can be good without God (which, you can be) that will be perfectly fine with me.  Just as long as you come home for Passover. And Rosh Hashanah. And Yom Kippur.  And Sukkot. And Chanukah. And Purim.  There isn't in any atheistic or agnostic handbooks that says you can't come over for fine family dinner on those certain days.

I promise to always love you.  I promise to always make sure you're happy, safe, nurtured, cared for, and protected.

I promise to give you a better world.  A safer world. A world filled with love, joy, triumph, courage, integrity, bliss, and acceptance.  An exciting world filled with amazing people all waiting to know and love you as much as I will.  I am so excited for you to fall in love with whom ever you love.

Love Always,

Mom

What I (honestly) Wore Wednesday

Maryam over at Pamplemousse has a really awesome link-up about what we wore, honestly, on Wednesday.  Now for my Wednesday I technically had three outfits.  While you may think it's crazy I have good reasons.  Or at least, I think so! 

Outfit 1: Work

Shirt-Target, tank-H&M, necklace-local artisan, pearl studs-F21.  Not pictured: Levi Jeans

So I totally had to take my own picture so hence the no jeans.  Plus my feet were shoeless since we don't wear our shoes past the front door.  My work is kinda picky about what we wear, and I associate the clothes I wear to work with work, so I change when I get home if I am doing anything.

Outfit 2: Run

Long sleeve navy tee-Old Navy, white sports bra-Wal-Mart, black capri workout pants-Target
 
Look at that awesome post run glow!  No, not really, I look awful.  I started the C25K a few weeks ago, but I got a cold and I fell out of the saddle and now I am back in it!  I will say the Champion capris from Target I wear are so freaking comfortable, I kinda get why women wear them, and pants like them, all the time now.

Unmatched, silly, brightly colored, and holey socks totally make you run faster.  It's proven by science!

             Outfit 3: Pre-Birthday Dinner

Dress and cardigan-Target, scarf-from the lost and found at work, belt-Charlotte Russe, necklace-Wet Seal, bracelet-gift from  Chris

Boots-DSW

Chris' best friend came down for a surprise pre-birthday visit.  We went to Hop Valley for dinner and beer.  I decided that I wanted to 'fall-up' my favorite summer dress...Just by adding scarf and boots.  I also rocked my white and black Columbia fleece because it's Oregon, and that's house we roll.  Chris took this picture (well more like half a dozen) at my picky insistence. I still don't like the way it turned out, plus we were watching Archer so it was hard to make my picture very fashiony.  Plus, we lack negative space in our apartment so the front door was the only option.

My Hobby Is Weird.

Or, at least some people may think it is.

 In my free time I dress up in medieval clothes; hang out with my friends; learn how to finger loop braid for the millionth time; watch some fighting; attend a royal court.  Yup, in my hobby is medieval reenactment with the Society for Creative Anachronism. I am quite involved in my local barony, the Barony of Adiantum, I am even our official newcomer greeter, the Chatelaine. I have been involved in the SCA for only three-ish years and I took to it like a duck to water. At my first event I seriously felt like I was coming home, without even knowing my heart and my mind had been searching for something like this.

A lot of people are always shocked when they find out what I do for a hobby.  I suppose it's not a hobby you run into everyday. But I think it is a lot fun. There is a chance you might think it is fun too!

In the SCA we like to say that we reenact all the good parts of the middle ages, and there are many aspects to the SCA.  There are people who fight (men and women); people who make things such as clothes in a medieval method; or people who help out constantly.  I feel that if you have an inclination or desire to try out the SCA I am sure you will be able to find a niche of your own.  There is no limit to what you can do, only your own limits can restrict you.

Me at An Tir West War this past July, in the first dress I ever made.

"How is an SCA event different from a Renaissance Fair?" is a question I get quite frequently.  Most Renaissance fairs are businesses that act much like a theme park.  You pay to get in and then you are entertained by paid performers. At an SCA event you are the performers, you're encouraged to participate and dress-up, rather than just watch. At an Renaissance fair you see people doing this that and the other, but you're not included.  At an SCA event you're able to take classes or just ask people about what they do in the society.  From fighters to artisans to heralds.  Everyone is almost always to happy to talk to you and teach you how to do what they do.  You just don't get that at a Renaissance fair.  The other thing is that the SCA is a non-profit, educational, historical society.  Schools, boy and girl scout troops, libraries, and other community groups have asked us to come in to show children and community members about the middle ages.

Things to do at SCA events are watch fighting, such as wars or tournaments, go to classes for medieval arts, and there is always volunteering.  For me it's pretty much a camping trip, in fun clothes, with my friends, and just some different activities.  A thing at events I love is called court.  This when the royalty, such as the Baron and Baroness, Prince or Princess, or even the King and Queen, hand out awards to the populous.  If you're at a local or smaller event more than likely some people you know and love will be called up and honored.  If you've made an impact on the group or done something awesome you will be awarded, eventually.

Getting my Award of Arms in court from the King and Queen of An Tir, court is all about pageantry and I love it.

One of the best parts?  Matching eras (we're all in Roman) and great friends!

 The SCA has been a great way for me to extend my social circle.  I had a few friends from the dorms, being an RA, and student groups.  However a lot of them had moved away, and I found myself socially stagnant and a skoosh lonely.  Joining the SCA has given me some really awesome friends I cannot see myself now not having, from all age groups.  The other really nice thing is that we're all nerds, deep down.  So our friendships transcend the middle ages to general geekery about table top gaming, Joss Whedon, Star Wars, anime, comics, and other fun nerdy stuff.  My local barony has really become my family.  I have met so many people who I can always rely on to be there for me.

Me, after I got my Award of Arms at An Tir West War this past July.

Doing the SCA gives me another sense of purpose, outside of my normal daily life.  Within the SCA when people do well with fighting, or arts, or volunteering they're given awards.  Each award has a name, meaning, and sometimes you've received a certain award you get a title or your given access to a sumptuary law.  Since I have my Award of Arms I am Lady Aoife (pronounced Ee-faa, it's a Gaelic name I choose myself). I got my Award of Arms, much to my own shock,  I was so emotional that I started to cry in front of the King and Queen of An Tir, then I walked out of court the wrong way, with Chris chasing after me. Awards are a big deal, but not everyone needs them or wants them to have a great experience in the SCA.

If the SCA is something you'd ever find yourself interested in try it out!  There are almost always events happening in your local area.  There are also evenings that local members get together to work on crafts, home their fighting skills, or figure out what is next to happen in their local group.  These evenings are really low-key and a nice way to get to know everyone!  Remember to contact your local Chatelaine, if they have one!  Go into it with an open mind and I am sure you will have a great time!

How to find your local group! 

This is not an official SCA website and does not reflect the policies of the SCA.