I've been wanting to write about my choice to convert to Judaism for a while now but I wasn't sure where to start. I have decided that from the beginning is probably a good start. With this first entry about converting I am quite sure that this will probably become a frequent feature (if you can call it that) on my blog since it's kind of a big deal.
I haven't felt the need to keep converting a secret, I've really enjoyed talking about it over with my friends and family, so why not share my thoughts with the great sphere of blogs? Especially since there might be someone out there who might be on a similar path as to mine.
First off I am not converting because of relationship, which is the reason I think most people assume is the reas why someone would convert to Judaism. So far with in the small on the path of conversion community I've met in my city none of them list that as a reason as to why they're converting. We all feel the same feeling: that we've always been Jewish in one way or another, that we were made to be Jewish.
Spirituality (I really don't like the word 'religion' so I always opt to spirituality) is such complex facet of our lives. It involves our souls, minds, hearts, and bodies. I also feel it's either something you have or you don't, that you can't force or fake it. I also think it's cruel to yourself and others to do so just to find acceptance and love. People connect to different kinds of spiritual path (or not) and I don't think there is one true path to God, who I like to call HaShem, but rather different paths for different kinds of people. I just happen to connect to the path of Judaism instead of Christianity, Buddhism, Sikhism, or the other dozens upon dozens upon dozens paths I could've possibly be made for. I believe in love for all followers of all paths, and also for people who cannot connect with spirituality. I have tons of friends who are atheists and agnostics and they're some of the most kind, happy, and best friends I have ever had. Guess what? They're also so incredibly supportive.
I've said that I was made to be Jewish, that I've always felt a desire to be Jewish, but how is that possible? Since spirituality is so complex I have a hard time articulating this but maybe you'll get the gist through my slightly incoherentness, so, bear with me. I hope it'll clarify some things.
I have always been really interested in Judaism ever since I was little. The first aspect of Judaism that really intrigued was Jewish history. I have always been really drawn to reading and learning about the Shoah (the Holocaust) ever since I was really young, too young. I started developing and interest in Jewish holidays, and was always wondering why I wasn't celebrating Hanukkah and Passover. In my teens and early twenties I felt a connection to Paganism and Earth based spirituality, but it faded by my mid-twenties. I met some amazing people through it, and I think it's a beautiful and respectable spiritual path. I just stop connecting with it after while, even if I was working at it. Even when I was on that path I was still drawn to Judaism.
Now that I am the path to becoming a Jew I have never felt so at home and at peace with myself, my life. It's such and intense sense of peace with in my soul. I cannot wait to share the rest of my journey with you.
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